Sirius White
by grafiti rtk
Summary: This is what I think J. K. Rowling will do next. Don't read this if you haven't read the Lord of the Rings, or if you're one of those crazy fans. Based on a convo I had
1. Sirius White

Disclaimer: Oh yeah, I own Harry Potter. That's why I'm making fun of my own books- of course.

A/N- This started with a conversation between my friend and me about how much J. K. Rowling steals from Tolkien. If you haven't read The Lord of the Rings (including the hobbit), you probably won't get a lot of the references, so don't read this.

A/N 2- I wrote this a while ago before the sixth book came out, then I stopped for a year, but now I'm going to continue it.

Here's what I think she'll do next.

Fro... Harry saw Gand...Sirius fall off the cliff... I mean, behind the curtain. "No!" He shouted, "Ga... Sirius can't be dead!"  
Fr... Harry woke with the scar on his shoul... forehead burning with pain. He still couldn't believe Sirius was dead.

Or _was_ he? Cornelius Fudge was checking around the room in the Department of Mysteries where Sirius died. He heard a noise coming from the curtain Sirius fell behind. "Cornelius", came a voice from the curtain. Am I losing my mind, thought Cornelius. Cornelius decided he'd check behind the curtains, "Just to see if I'm sane", he told himself. He opened it, and out came-  
"Sirius? Sirius Black?"

"Sirius Black- Yes... that is what they used to call me. Now, I am Sirius White. I'm going now. I want to see my friend, Fro- I mean Harry." Sirius White disaparated with a loud crack.

Harry stared at Sirius. "Am I seeing things?", Harry asked. "No, you're quite sane.", Sirius said with a grin. "You're really alive?" "Of course. Don't you know that when you don't see the person's dead body, they're going to come back?"  
"Gee... this reminds me of a book I read... The Two... Buildings? Anyway, I'm going to find Ron and Hermione and tell them the good news!"

Harry went to the Gryffindor common room.

"Ron! Hermione!" Ron and Hermione walked over.

"Guess what? Sirius is back!"

"Wicked!", said Ron.

"I knew he wasn't really dead! If he was, we'd have seen his dead body. I mean, come _on_, he just fell behind a curtain. I didn't say anything about it to you because I didn't want to get your hopes up," Hermione said.

They stood there for a few minutes, staring blankly into space. When you've beaten basilisks and trolls, finding out that someone is still alive is only vaguely exciting.

"Anyway, it's great that Sirius is back, and all, but we'd better get to class." That was Hermione, of course. "Have fun at Divination."

"Is it possible to have fun at Divination?", muttered Harry. Harry and Ron went to the classroom that Dumbledore transformed into a forest.

"Today", said Firenze, "we'll be studying crystal balls. Everyone, split into pairs and take a crystal ball." Harry took a crystal ball. He gazed into it. "Ron!", gasped Harry, "You'll never believe this, but I can actually see something!" Ron's eyes widened in surprise. If he had been drinking something, I'm sure he would have spit it out comically.

"You can see something? What do you see?" "I see Hermione and me with Aragog."

"Aragog?" Ron's face slowly turned white.  
"Yeah- wait, I see something else. It's you- you're cowering in your room." Ron's face turned from white to red.  
"Why don't you look in?"

"Okay... hey, I see something too! It's me and you... you're asleep."

At the end of the period...

"Well, I'm going to go find Hermione" Harry said.  
"Okay. I'm going to go cower in my room."

I know that Harry and Ron probably would have stopped taking Divination in their 6th year, due to the D's (possibly T's) that they most likely received on their O.W.L's., but I need them to be in Divination for my plot. My precious plot. Nasty, fat reviewerses. They want to take away my precious plot... but Smeagol won't let them. And fanfiction won't put asterisks! That's really annoying.


	2. Sting

Chapter 2- Sting 

"Hey Sirius. Hey Hermione", Harry said as he walked in the common room.

"Hey", they replied.

"Harry, I have a gift for you. It's a bracelet that I found." Sirius reached out his hands to give the bracelet to Harry, when a short man with big, hairy feet, and curly hair appeared in a puff of smoke.

"Hey! That's mine!", shrieked the little man. He grabbed it and disappeared in another puff of smoke.

"That was odd.", said Sirius.

"Anyway, I saw us in Aragog's lair in a crystal ball. Let's go, Hermione."

Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak and his wand. So did Hermione. They put the cloak over them and left. Sirius called, "Have a good time!"

Harry and Hermione were deep in the forest. They took off the invisibility cloak. They saw a trail of spiders, which they followed. A giant spider came out of nowhere and grabbed Hermione. It put her in its web. "Help!", she yelled.

Harry put on the invisibility cloak. He ran around, singing "Attercop, attercop, you can't see me!" The spider became confused at the horribly annoying song. What did attercop mean and what did it have to do with invisibility? This thought took up all of the spider's mind. Harry took this opportunity and pointed his wand at it and yelled, "Stupify!" The spider fell over. Harry raised his wand triumphantly. "For that great deed, I will name you Sting!"

Harry got Hermione out of the web. She kissed him. "Harry, you saved me!"

Harry grinned and said, "Don't thank me, thank Sting."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. Let's just get out of here." They ran out of the forest at top speed. They went to the boy's dorm, where they found Ron under the covers, quivering like a leaf.

"Hey, Ron, we're back.", they said.


	3. Legally Dead

Chapter 3 

Sirius stayed in the Gryffindor common room for another month or so after the Aragog incident. But then the teachers started getting mad at him.

"He keeps telling the students to do irresponsible things!" said McGonnagal.

"He tracks mud in the halls!" said the janitor-guy (forgot his name).

"He's scaring me a little", said Neville.

So, it was final. Sirius had to go back to Grimmauld Place. He said goodbye to all of his friends at the school, packed his bags and left-

-To find that some of the order of the phoenix had taken up residency in his house.

"Tonks! Lupin! What are you lot doing here? This is my home, I don't recall saying you could live here!"

They looked sheepish. "Well, ol' pal of mine, if you recall, it said in your will-"

"My will! I'm not dead yet!"

"But, you _were_ declared legally dead last year." Tonks said. "Everybody's gone off with your stuff. Have fun tracking it down."

"Oh, and we're getting married. Did you hear?"

"No! That's great news! About your marriage, I mean, not my stuff."

"You can live here if you'd like", Tonks offered. "Although, you might not want to use your old bed anymore."

"Why? WHAT HAVE YOU TWO DONE IN MY BED!"

They gave each other a sly look. Sirius decided he didn't want to know.


	4. There and Back Again

Chapter 4 

It was winter. Sirius had succeeded in tracking down most of his stuff, but he was still missing his prized stamp collection, and most of his silverware had vanished. Harry Ron and Hermione were coming to stay at Grimmauld Place for the winter break.

"Hey, Sirius, where did you go when you went behind the curtain? You never said.", asked Hermione.

"Well, I went to this land. It was called Bottom Earth. Their world was in a separate continuum than ours. There were a lot of similarities, though."

"Tell us about it!"

"Well, see, there were these little creatures called Hippits. And there was this evil dude, who put his soul into a necklace so that you couldn't kill him without destroying the necklace first. And then this one Hippit named Photo went on a quest to take it to a mountain to destroy it. It was a very, very long quest and it took three 500-page books with tiny print to tell it."

"Why didn't they just take the subway?" That was Ron. They gave him a look. Sirius cleared his throat and continued.

"Anyhow, I made friends with the evil guy while I was there. Not that I wanted to, or anything, but I figured that if anyone knew the way out of Bottom Earth, it was him. And I was right! He did know the way!"

At this point, the three children were silently confirming their thoughts that Sirius was totally bonkers.

"So, I told him about my world and about Voldemort. And he said that he knew the guy. Gave him the idea to put his soul into objects and everything. Said that he even had one of the objects with him. It was a bracelet. He gave it to me."

"How did you get home?"

"I eventually found a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum. I went through it, and, well, here I am!"

"But.. then that means that the bracelet is still in Bottom Earth! Remember, the Hippit took it from you in chapter 2."

"Hurray! That means we'll have to go to another world to get it! This book is going to surpass the lengths of all of the other ones!"

The line about taking a subway comes from another conversation I had with a friend about LotR. I just had to use it.


End file.
